[Worship] Fun in Christ

[EOCleader@aol.com]

Hi everybody... I've been reading the posts from the last couple of days about
words confused in hymns... and also songs that sound like other ones... I've
been laughing most of the time!

	Anyway, I've been trying to find the e-mail my friend sent to me a long time
ago ith some more misinterpretations among my saved mail, but I regret to say
it was unsuccessful... but thankfully I still have the copy of it I printed
out before! So I'm typing it out again so you guys can enjoy it.

I hope they don't offend anybody... I just think they are quite funny.

Marcelo

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What Children Hear AT Church

The Lord's Prayer
How do you know my name? (or, Harold be thy name)
Give us this day our jelly bread.
Lead us not into Penn Station.
Deliver is from people.
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Hymn Titles and Lines from Hymns

Gladly, the Cross-eyed bear (Gladly, the Cross I'd Bear)
Crazy, Crazy, All Ye Little Children, God is Love (Praise Him, Praise Him)
While Shepherds Washed Their Socks By Night (While Shepherds Watched Their
Flocks By Night)
Lead On, O Kinky Turtle (Lead On, O King Eternal)

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More Versions of the Lord's Prayer

Our Father, Who are in heaven, hello! What be thy name?
******
Give us this day our daily breath.
******
Our Father, Who are in Heaven, Hollywood be Thy name.
******
Lead us not into creation.
******
Deliver us from eagles.
******
"It's no use. Art doesn't listen to me," said a little girl who was
praying for a bike. "Art who?"" asked the mother. "Art in heaven," came
the reply.
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Sunday school teacher: What is prayer?
Student: That is a message sent to God at night and on Sundays when
the rates are lower

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Denominational Differences

During and inter-faith conference, someone shouted, "The building is on
fire!"
** The Methodists gathered in a corner and prayed.
** Baptists cried, "Where's the water?"
** Quaker's quietly praised God for the blessings fire bring.
** Lutherans posted a notice on the door, declariong, in no uncertain
    terms that fire was evil.
** Roman Catholcis passed on the offering plate to cover the damages.
** Jews posted symbols on the doorposts hoping that the fire would pass over.
** Congregationalists shouted, "Every man for himself!"
** Fundamentalists proclaimed, "Fire is the vengeance of God!"
** Christian Scientists agreed among themselves there was no fire.
** Presbyterians appointed a chairperson who was to appoint a committee
    to look into the matter and make a written report to Session.
** Episcopalians formed a procession and marched out.

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THE QUESTION

Boy: "Dad, what is a backslider?"
Father: "A man who leaves our church and goes to another."
Boy: "And what is a man who leaves his church and joins ours?"
Father: "He's a convert, son, a convert."

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Memorable Church Signs

* For God so loved the world that He didn't send a committee.
* Had a tough week? We're open Sundays.
* If you have troubles, come in and tell us about them.
* If you have none, come in and tell us how you do it.
* Heaven knows when you were here last.
* Come in and pray today. Beat the Christmas rush.
* Keep off the grass. This means thou.
* All new sermon! No re-runs!
* Come early... if you want a back seat.
* Come in and let us prepare you for your finals.

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