RE: [Worship] A Testimony of God's Faithfulness

[Laurie Freymann <Laurie.Freymann@Boxlight.com>]

Kevin,
	I was encouraged by what you wrote.  I, too, have been going
through a very dark time.  I am suffering from clinical depression, on
top of having S.A.D. (seasonal affective disorder).  Recently, my doctor
put me on medication.  I struggle with the fact that a mature Christian,
a woman of God for 25+ years, would need medication to deal with
something like this.  I keep thinking I should be "anxious for
nothing..."  But, like you, God has revealed so much to me through this.
I've written a song that came from a time of deepest despair... a song
of worship, of "choosing" to worship, even when your heart is
overwhelmed.  That is something I must do just to make it through each
day.
	I still don't know if God "caused" this to happen to me, or if
He simply "allowed" it and is using it to His glory.  But either way, I
am His servent, and look forward to using what I learn in this to
further His kingdom!
Love in Christ,
Laurie


> -----Original Message-----
> From:	Kevin H. Dougherty [SMTP:khdmedic@capital.net]
> Sent:	Thursday, April 01, 1999 6:15 PM
> To:	Worship Discussion List
> Subject:	[Worship] A Testimony of God's Faithfulness
> 
> 
> The past two weeks have been and continue to be the most painful and
> difficult time I have ever experienced. I have never faced a time of
> such deep desperation and despair as now. It has truly been a "Dark
> Night of the Soul". But I am here to tell you, that our God is well
> able, and oh so very faithful. He has been here in my time of greatest
> need to minister peace when I needed peace, strength when I needed
> strength. He has sent beloved brothers and sisters with the right
> words
> at the proper time. Without getting into the gory details, it has been
> a
> time of seeing hopes and dreams crumble, a time of stripping away, and
> surrender. The Lord has required me to surrender a number of things to
> Him, including my hopes of marriage to a very special woman. It was
> not,
> is not easy. It was and is painful.
> 
> I don't know why this has been required of me, perhaps a test, perhaps
> I
> was wrong about God's will. But I do know that He would not require
> this
> of me unless He had something better to replace it with.
> 
> Now for the good part....
> 
> In the past week, I have had some of the most intense times of worship
> I
> have ever experienced. I have felt the Lord's presence more intensely
> than I ever have. At the very lowest point, as I was pouring out my
> heart to God, something began to well up from deep inside me. In an
> instant, I understood how Job felt, how David felt, how all the saints
> and heroes of the bible felt when in times of trouble they began to
> worship God. I understood this as with tears streaming down my face I
> cried out "I WILL WORSHIP YOU LORD!!!!"
> 
> In that moment, I realized that no matter what happened, that if I
> spent
> the rest of my life in torment and anguish, my God would still be more
> than worthy of my worship and adoration. He is worthy not only for the
> wonderful gift He presented us on Calvary, but for who_He_is.
> 
> This has also been the most prolific time of writing I have ever
> experienced, It seems every time I sit down, the Lord begins to speak
> to
> me. In the last week, I have filled over 50 hand written pages. I
> wondered to the Lord why, and He seemed to say that it was so other
> would be able to read and know they were not alone, they were not the
> only ones. Well, I have already been able to use some of the writings
> to
> share with a sister ministering to someone going through similar
> circumstances.
> 
> It is my hope that these words will encourage others who may be having
> some rough times. I am there, I have walked in these shoes, and I
> stand
> here to tell you to lift up your eyes. Fix them on Jesus, worship Him,
> and like Peter, you will walk with Him in the midst of the tempest. He
> will always be faithful to lift you out of the storm. Yes, things will
> still hurt, but they will be seen in perspective, and He will give you
> the strength to face what lies before you.
> 
> Be Blessed
> ==================================================================
> 
> I'm a fool for Jesus, whose fool are you?
> 
> Kevin
> Makin' a Joyful Noise Unto the Lord!
> 
> http://www.angelfire.com/ny/tech6207/index.html
> 
> There are two kinds of people: those who say to God, "Thy will be
> done,"
> 
> and those to whom God says, "All right, then, have it your way." -
> C.S.
> Lewis
> 
> ======================================================================
> =
> 
> "That's the whole problem with science.  You've got a bunch of
> empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder."    -
> Calvin (& Hobbes) 8<{)
> 
> 
> 
> 
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