[Worship] re: worship leaders worshiping. . . .

["Moe Sullivan" <vallivan@interlinx.qc.ca>]

List,  (sorry, this is kind of long. . .)

I have been keeping up with this thread, as much as possible. . . .I don't
get my emails right away. . .that is why it takes so long for me to respond
at times.  :-)

The original post came from Alex, I believe. . . .about being able to
worship better when doing the leading.  I can relate to that concept,
believe me!  A few years ago, when I was not leading worship full-time, I
could not ever seem to enter into worship during a service.  I'd sing. .
.sometimes, but not worship.  I'd be sitting there basically taking mental
notes like "he didn't need to say that". . ."there's too much of a pause
between songs. . .it makes them look like they don't know what they're
doing". . . ."I wish they wouldn't gawk at each other when they make
mistakes". . .and so on.  Any of you have similar experiences?  Sure.  ;-)

When I started leading worship again, I found myself in much the same place
as Alex. . . I'd spend much time at home preparing. . . .but never "felt"
anything until I was in front of the congregation.  I'm still not sure
exactly why. . .please, before you pass judgment, read on. . .   ;-)

Last summer, after an interesting turn of events. . .plus a mismanagement of
funds. . .and,  the timing was definitely from the enemy. . . .we had our
hydro (power, electricity) turned off.  Now, to many people that might not
be a big whoop. . . .depending where and how you live.  Everything we do
needs electricity.  We have a spring box. . .and the water has to be pumped
to our house. . . .it's too far and down a hill to carry it up. . .we had to
bring water in. . .we have animals. . . .so it meant a lot of water.
Anyway, with no power, I had no TV. . . .I spent all my time praying,
singing,
reading good books on worship, reading and studying the Bible, particularly
on worship, played my guitar all the time. . .wrote worship songs. . . .oh,
and I cried some too.  :-)

Throughout that period--3 months actually, I learned much about worship, and
being intimate with God.  Kathryn Berkowitz  wrote in her post: "To be a
worship leader I believe it is important to be experiencing intimacy in
worship, alone in the secret place, just you and God. It is out of this time
that ministry is birthed."  That is it exactly!!!

Have you noticed that a lot of people snicker when they hear the word
"intimate" because in the '90's, it usually has something to do with sex. .
. .we have lost the need for intimacy in friendships, and in our
relationship with God.

I have now gotten to the point where if I am at a meeting or study or
something at church and people break into song to  worship, I hardly ever
sing.  I have learned that singing is a part of worship, but just that.  A
part.  In my worship time alone at home, I sit, quietly. . . I hardly ever
sing anymore.  I just sit.  I think on God.  His goodness, His care for all
of us, His patience. . .and on and on.  Silence I am finding, can be a good
thing.

In Isaiah, (Chapter 1) God got really upset with His children because they
were
"doing" what they were supposed to be doing. . .worshiping. . .but their
hearts weren't there.  He pulled back from them because their hearts weren't
right before Him.

One of the most moving and worshipful times I've ever been involved in was
in Montreal at a musical evening. . .the worship leader started by having us
all bow our heads and close our eyes, and he read through all the names
and/or characteristics of God.  It was quite solemn. . . .but man, standing

there in silence thinking on all that God is. . . .it was awesome!


Please don't think I'm holding myself up here. . .I just wanted to share
what God has been teaching me this past fall. . . .it's taken me a while to
"feel to do it" as some French Quebecer friends of mine would say. . . .but
I really feel that God wants first and foremost our hearts bowed in worship
of Him -- not to say that we are to play nastily or anything. . . .but if
our hearts aren't right before Him. . .we could sound amazing and He would
not be pleased.  And isn't pleasing Him what worship is all about?

In His staff,

Moe. (the female)



            ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
       "As you worship, you'll discover the purpose of worship --
                        to change the face of the worshiper."
                                      . . . Max Lucado
           ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


                                Maureen "Moe" Sullivan
                                      ICQ #  12919497
                                 vallivan@interlinx.qc.ca
                              GreenRidge Baptist Church
                            Lennoxville, Quebec, Canada
               http://www.abacom.com/greenrbc/index.htm




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