[Worship] Re: What to do in this situation??

[Blest01@aol.com]

Chey, I can see that you are having a great struggle with these issues and 
knowing what to do.  I can't really relate to these situations that you are 
dealing with, however a few thoughts came to me when I read your post.  

Let's look to the Word for wisdom: In 1 Thessalonians 5 and the 12th and 13th 
verses, we are instructed to respect those who work hard among us, who are 
over us in the Lord and who admonish us.  It says that we are to respect them 
and hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work.  To live 
in peace with one another. This is hard to do when we feel their input 
concerning us is harsh or not as we wish it to be.  But the fact is, God's 
word says that if we are under those whom He has given authority, right or 
wrong, we are to submit (unless of course it is against God and something 
sinful).  

In James, the 3rd chapter and 17th and 18th verses, it says that the wisdom 
from heaven is pure, peace-loving, considerate, submissive (there is that 
word again) full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.  Those who 
are peacemakers who sow in peace will raise up a harvest of righteousness.  
That tells me that when things happen like you describe, we need to submit 
and be loving, bringing peace. Allowing God to work out things in His timing.

If you feel very strongly that you are called to begin a ministry with our 
voice now, and you are not granted that opportunity there.....then it could 
be that God is going to direct you to another place where He has a plan for 
you.  I have seen this many times.  However, God is not a God of confusion, 
but of peace his order of things.  So, if you are continually having a lack 
of peace about this, it could be that you are not in the right place...or 
that God wants to teach you something.  Instead of listening too much to 
others giving you THEIR thoughts and advise, turn to God's wisdom for advise. 
You will be blessed for it and used in a mighty way for the good of the 
Kingdom!

In love....
Carolyn

You wrote:
<< So lately I am dealing with two things..
 
 A. The church hasn't had a singer that sings like me before that hasn't left
 the church or the Lord.
 I think they expect this from me and the leader put a bug into my head that
 I might get some thrill out of having people hear me sing..
 I never thought that about myself before.. I mean, I used to be just happy
 singing by myself to God or my family.. I mean as long as someone is getting
 pleasure out of it, that's what I want.. And whne it's for God, I want the
 voice to heal or bless someone an bring them into God's presence.. I want to
 help MOVE people..to worship..
 or in a solo, to make their hearts just burst with love for God or be moved
 to tears because they are touched by a song.
 The leader and now the pastor's wife seem so distant to me..(they are close)
 and I don't know how to handle it...
 I get very insecure anyway, and sometimes feel as if I should just back
 off..
 but my husband, sister and close friend at the church tell me that that
 would be wrong.
 To not put my talent in a box..
 but it seems like so much trouble.. which leads to the next problem.
 
 B. I have NEVER EVER felt I had a big head about my singing.. in fact, the
 opposite..
 and now just when I am accepting the voice God gave me as much as I can even
 when hearing these HUGE christian singers with beautiful voices that I know
 I cannot compare to.. (I feel that I could do some good for a local
 church..but that's it..)
 now because of what the praise leader told me "if you get some thrill out of
 having people hear you sing, you can just not sing this song" (when I tried
 out for a lead part in that song that I backed out of doing")
 I started being really attacked in my mind about my motives.. "you just want
 people to hear you sing" " you are really wicked and evil and don't even
 really love God you just love yourself"
 and all these other ugly things I keep thinking in my head ..
 I have NEVER ever had this problem before... and I don't like it.
 I love God, I have loved him for as long as I can remember.. even tho I fell
 a million times. I still loved HIM ,.or at least I FELT love for Him.
 I always believed in Him..tho I struggled with service and commitment..
 but now I want to commit and I have to battle my own mind .
 Sometiems it doesn't seem worth the trouble to serve in that way.
 sometimes I feel I should just sit back and chill with God and let others do
 their own thing..forget ministering in music!
 this is so hard and I want to know from someone else who is now a worship
 leader or singer for the Lord, were you attacked with thoughts about your
 ego?
 about your own Glory?
 I have even slipped when singing a song about the Lord making the lyrics
 about ME.
 I don't mean to..it just slips and then I think I am really horrible!
 even my kids and husand tell me that's just the devil!!! but can he stumble
 our words?
 
 Like I said, it doesn't feel worth it. I am not strong enough.. I want the
 Lord to help me but I feel that he isn't there when it comes to this
 sometimes!
 I want to just sing for Him without all the garbage coming up in my mind, or
 I would rather NOT sing except at home for him!
 
 Any ideas anyone?
 :)
 thanks!
 Chey
  >>

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