[Worship] Worship - what to do in this situation

["Rachel & Matthew Longden" <mrl@picknowl.com.au>]

Chey,

Hi my name is Rachel,  this is my first time sending a message but have been
reading from this list for some months.

After reading what Vanessa wrote - I totally agree.  I hope this story
helps.
I have struggled for years with singing - so much so that I didnt think that
I would ever be good enough to sing in a choir let alone sing with a few
singers or lead worship.   But I had such a burning desire to sing.

Over 5 years ago I felt that one day I would lead worship.  I had words from
several different visiting preachers that one day I would lead worship.  I
even dreamt that I was leading worship.  At this time I was a singer but
still struggling with coming to terms with my lack of talent.  There were
certainly no openings to do so and I was no where near ready!  So I put
these desires and words 'on the shelf'.

For the last several years I have faithfully "sang my heart" out for Jesus.
It has not been an easy road - seeing many others given opportunities that I
thought I could do.  It is so easy to become bitter, even envious of other
people or their talents.  There has even been struggles with people within
the team - a situation that seemed totally impossible to me - where I too
was willing to stand down.  I committed my frustrations to the Lord
(sometimes later than sooner) and my desire to lead.  God has bought about
so many changes in our Church - more specifically in the Music Team but MOST
IMPORTANTLY in me.  The times I thought I was ready - I wasn't.
I now am one of the worship leaders at my church.  It certainly has not been
easy - especially with what I thought was my lack of talent BUT God showed
me that no matter what I think - the talent that He has given me is for Him.
So with what little I think I have I will worship Him with my whole heart.
He can use it to bless others also - in that He has also blessed me beyond
what I ever thought imaginable.

I guess we can feel that we are in a slow process - 5 years seemed forever -
but I am not the same person I was back then THANK GOD - I have a deeper
relationship with him and long to be in His presence daily not just when
leading worship but in just living everday.  Making worship a lifestyle - my
lifestyle - in everything I do - being a wife - being a mother - being a
friend - being an employee - being me!

But most importantly my timing wasn't His timing.  Like Vanessa mentioned
commit your desires and frustrations to the Lord.  He knows what is best for
us and when it is best for us.  He will lead you to the place where He wants
you.  And he will mould you into the person that He wants you to be.  It is
amazing how God can change situations and circumstances.
All God wanted was for me to come to the place where I was willing to lay
aside what I wanted - and let Him do what He wanted.

My prayers are with you!

There is rest and peace when you lay your troubles at His feet.

Rachel








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