RE: [Worship] 3rd & 4th grade males with a "coolness" problem

[Mike Murray <michael.murray@interworkssoftware.com>]

Hi all,

Gabriela had many wise things to say on this subject, and I just want to
second her contribution.  The way to get kids interested to EXPECT
something form them.  One of my fondest music leadership experiences was
leading children's choirs - various groupings from K-6.  I made it clear
with the pastor from the beginning that I was expected the kids to be
INTEGRATED into the life of the church, that would not just be cute
diversions to appear for the benefit of everyone's heartstrings on
Sunday morning. By treating the kids like people instead of a bunch of
wannabe Shirley Temples in stupid white skirts regimented like the 101st
Airborne, we grew a program that made an impact in the church and the
community.

The songs they learned were based on the sermon topics or themes of the
day, and not necessarily written for children.   They sang at least
monthly in service in addition to monthly community service at
convalescent homes, etc.  We EXPLAINED what they were singing, why they
were singing it, how it fit in the service, etc.  I got them to really
sing and did not allow other adults to sing with them or mouth the words
from the front row.  We made their contribution RELEVANT, and they
responded to the call with great enthusiasm and energy.

Older kids (3-5 grade) were integrated by giving them more challenging
roles, like singing parts, or coaching the younger ones in small groups
with the words or melodies.  

Early on, when the older boys (especially) got ornery, I never rewarded
their bad behavior with attention, but rather took them aside after and
invited them to quit. I offered to talk to their parents and get them
off the team if they didn't want to participate. I encouraged them to
stay, but made it clear that they had to decide to live by the rules of
the group.  NOT ONE QUIT!  They all became bedrock members of the
group-one of my greatest interpersonal victories!

I now apply the same techniques to my adult groups.  They works great
there, too.

Michael Murray

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