FW: [Worship] Submission or Abuse?

["Jim Rutherford" <pastor@swcf.org>]

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-----Original Message-----
From: Jim Rutherford [mailto:pastor@swcf.org]
Sent: Friday, September 12, 2003 10:46 AM
To: Worship@praisenet.com
Subject: RE: [Worship] Submission or Abuse?


Zeke,

I - obviously - have no idea of the details of your situation. What really
happened, what the pastor's motives might have been, what was said or not
said, the real reasons for the changes made, etc.

BUT - I would really like to encourage you to - if you intend to stay at
this church - to give your pastor(s) the benefit of the doubt and, even if
you cannot be overwhelmingly supportive of what they are doing, to be very
careful that you do not undermine them either intentionally or
unintentionally.

If you do not believe you can still be supportive of their ministry and even
of them personally, then I would encourage you to seek a church that fits
more in your view, especially relating to the music/worship. Staying in a
situation where you are unhappy, feel slighted and do not agree with the
direction the church/pastor is taking can only hurt you emotionally and
spiritually and it is also quite likely that your negative attitude about
it - even if you never say a word to anyone about your feelings - will still
be felt by others - and will cause discord or harm to the
congregation/church.

As a pastor (actually former pastor), I can tell you that my actions,
motives, etc. have at times been completely misunderstood by people. And, I
have also found, with the very rare exception, that once someone is upset or
disappointed or whatever - that no amount of explaining on my part will ever
make things right again. I have also found that it is almost impossible,
when a person feels they have been slighted or wronged or thinks a decision
or new direction is a mistake, for that person to be silent about it and so
they end up confiding in a few and before you know it there are sides being
taken and worse yet battle lines being drawn within the church.

Anytime there is change - no matter how good or how necessary - there will
always be those who object, who don't like it, who get their feelings hurt,
who feel like they are a causality of the change. It is unavoidable! That is
why we must be careful about making changes, especially in the church. Yet -
at the same time - if must all recognize that change is so often necessary
for the growth and health of the church and to reach out to the lost in our
communities.

I took a very traditional (and dying) church through the change to a very
contemporary church. Was there fall out? Yes - lots! Were there people who
felt slighted? Yes! Was it at times a battle? Yes! Are there people who then
and still today will tell you that I am horrible, mean and ruined "their"
church? Absolutely! Was the changes I made necessary? It was if the church
was to survive, grow and thrive. Are there things I would have done a little
differently looking back on all of that? Yes - but I would still have made
the change.

Again - and if this sounds harsh, I certainly do not mean it that way, and
please do not think I believe you've over-reacted - it may very well be that
your pastor handled this situation very badly and you have every right to be
hurt - but if you don't feel you can any longer be supportive of the pastor
and the church, then you (and the church) - would be much better off to find
another congregation where you can support the pastor and what the church is
doing musically.

With (I hope) much wisdom and much love,

Jim

Jim Rutherford, Evangelist
4 Winds Ministries
Tulsa, Oklahoma
www.4windsministries.com